In some relationships, you can have the benefit of not dealing with the ex-factor and the exes are either cool friends or they made a clean break and the girls are nowhere to be seen. But sometimes, there is a more delicate situation and it can be troublesome in a new relationship. There are a couple of common ways this can play out in a new relationship.
The Ex is “Just a Friend” Your boyfriend tells you that the ex is just a friend, yet they hang out casually and you often see her when you are out. As the new girlfriend, you aren’t quite sure what to do, and whether you should be concerned about this past relationship. The first thing to do is observe your boyfriend while she is around. Does he seem happy when she’s around? Does he smile a lot or try to touch her? Do they keep in touch more than they should? If you are answering yes to some of these questions, you need to talk to your boyfriend. It’s not that you are opposed to your boyfriend’s friendship with his ex, but you want to know where he stands in the situation. You need to make sure that he no longer has feelings for his ex, it only complicates things and makes the effort you put into the relationship seem irrelevant.
Never Create Drama When dealing with the ex-girlfriend, never be the source or creator of any drama between you and the girlfriend or among the three of you. It only creates trouble and makes you look like the petty one with the insecurity issues. In situations where you see the ex-girlfriend out on the town, always be cordial. Remember, your boyfriend is with you and not with her and there is no reason to create any drama. It is always better to be the bigger person and above any unneeded drama.
Talk it Out The common saying “honesty is the best policy” applies to this situation. Honesty and trust are critical in any relationship. If the ex-factor is a trouble spot in your relationship, it is best to talk it out. It is important to make sure there are no lingering feelings for a past relationship. Your ability to talk openly about past relationships, if needed, will make you more open and ensure there is nothing you can’t talk about. It is not your place to limit who he can be friends with, but if it is affecting your relationship, the situation needs to be addressed with a constructive talk.
