If you have been dating your significant other for an extended time, you’ve probably fielded many inquiries about potential wedding bells. The thing you should always remember is that you’re the one in the relationship- not your great aunt, not the nosy neighbor down the street, not your married sister, not the Sunday school teacher at your church, and let’s not forget your mother! While they may have good intentions, they’re bringing their own experiences in their own relationships which influence the advice they are doling out, or the not so subtle comments they are making.
Now, unless you’re the type of person who is completely content in a long term relationship with no desire to get married (if so, you’re definitely in the minority), you’ve probably wondered what the next step in your relationship is going to be. Many people put off discussing marriage because they are hesitant to know how their significant other really feels about the issue. Once you know where your partner sees you both in the years to come, your relationship is either ending, or moving forward. There usually isn’t anything in between. Change can be scary, even good change, but you must risk that fear and listen to your heart. Otherwise, you’ll secretly harbor resentment and even uncertainty towards your significant other, which can emerge in various issues among your relationship.
However, there are signs that it is time to cut the cord and end the relationship, but they aren’t based on the time you have been together. If you fall into this category, you probably already recognize the red flags but don’t want to deal with them. Is it second nature to have your basic needs met by each other? How is the attraction between you both- is there sexual attraction in addition to a genuine level of like and respect for each other? Are you or your partner flexible when it comes to change and understanding of each others’ positions or points of view? Do you both have mutual goals and plans for the future that include the other person? Do you look forward to spending time with your partner and still have fun together? Regardless if you’ve been dating five months or five years- if you answered no to any of these questions, you probably need to give your relationship a serious assessment.
So how long is too long to date? Every couple is different, and it’s impossible, not to mention unjust, to impose a universal time limit on relationships. But as long as your relationship is based on trust, honesty and commitment, and you are both genuinely content and happy, your relationship will most likely continue to grow.
