One of the most common complaints that women have about men is that they don’t listen. Women don’t understand why men don’t listen, but they think their mates’ minds are elsewhere when they are talking. To make a relationship work, go on a successful date or even talk to a woman in a bar, you must really listen – it will be appreciated by the woman and you will start to understand the person’s feelings and point of view.
Act and Be Interested You must be an active listener. To do this, act interested and be interested in what the woman is saying. Really listen to them – you might be surprised what she has to say. Ask questions. Be attentive. Fully understand what the woman is saying and be inquisitive. Your willingness to listen and be interested in conversation will be admired by women and considered a good trait. Don’t interrupt your mate in conversation – if you are interrupting that means you were not listening and instead so focused on what you want to say or what you want to hear.
Eye Contact Another key part in listening to women and being an active listener is to maintain eye contact. If you maintain eye contact, you mind naturally focuses on the conversation giving you the proper focus to listen intently. Try not to let your eye contact wander while listening. This is especially hard when there are distractions or when you are in a crowded place. Don’t let your eye wander to the people walking behind your mate or the television or music. Keep your focus and eye contact and you will enable yourself to listen well to women.
Focus In addition to eye contact, focus is very important. Don’t be distracted while you are listening. Try to clear your head of distractions and the focus on the person talking to you. This will also enhance your eye contact. While there may be a big game on in the background, you may need to take a quick break and focus on listening to something important from your mate. It does take effort to be a good listener, but in the long run it will be of benefit to you.
Consciously listening and focusing on the person’s point of view will make you more understanding of their perspective and give you a better idea of how they feel. This whole concept begins with active listening. If you stay focused, keep eye contact and stay inquisitive, you will be successful in listening to women.
Men universally want to be that funny, attractive guy that women fall for. But what men don’t understand is that not all women are looking for the stereotypical “it” guy. Each woman has different taste and a different idea of what they are looking for. What makes you that funny, attractive guy is not a new shirt or hair cut but it is how you carry yourself and the presentation of your personality. Every man can be funny and attractive to women in their own way.
Be Yourself When trying to attract women, the most important thing to remember is to be confident in who you are. A man that has confidence is very appealing to a woman. Don’t try to be someone you aren’t – women see right through this and it is not attractive. Everyone is funny and attractive to someone and it is all a matter of being yourself, acting confident and being open to meeting all types of different people.
Take Things Lightly, But Not Too Much When trying to attract women, it’s helpful to maintain a good balance between funny and obnoxious. Try to be careful about what you say in a joking or sarcastic way – a new person may not always follow your sense and humor and your attempt to be funny may offend or turn a person off.
Be sure to get a feeling for the person before telling that new joke or making fun of a situation. It’s very important to have a light-hearted spirit when trying to attract women, but don’t take it too far. Keep an eye on your alcohol consumption – being or acting too drunk is not funny and can be a turn off. Instead, keep your cool, have fun and maintain an optimistic attitude. Essentially, if you are relaxed and having a good time, you will be surprised how easy it is to attract women.
Use your Natural Charm and Sense of Humor Every guy has the ability to turn on their own personal charm in the right situations. Using the right amount of natural charm combined with your own sense of humor is a great combination for attracting women. Women love a guy who can say just the right thing in a funny, charming way. If you go further and combine your delicate use of charm with perhaps a compliment for the new woman, this is a winning combination! The bottom line is be yourself and don’t go out of your way to be the funniest person in the bar – it may not be what that special woman for you is looking for in a guy.
You may be new to online dating and unsure of how to go about the process. Like with anything, when you first get started it can be a bit difficult to know what to look for or how to actually date online. There are several things you need to look for and you will start with the profiles.
Search Profiles
You want to narrow down the thousands of profiles to the types of people you are looking for. Search for men or women, religious beliefs, location, education, and more. You may not want to narrow your search too much at first because you could be eliminating people that shouldn’t necessarily be eliminated. However, if you are sure you are looking for a man in Chicago who is a Christian then you can easily include those search parameters and see who is returned!
Read Profiles
Once you have searched the profiles and have the results then you are ready to read the profiles. You will need to look at the photos, read people’s backgrounds, and determine who you are most interested in.
Check Your Checklist
You should have a checklist of what you are looking for to help you sort the profiles. Of course, the search function on the site will do a really good job, but there may be other things you are looking for, too. Look for people of a particular race, religion, hair color, height, and so on and so forth. Additionally, you may want to look for people with a particular type of job or who like to travel. If you know who you are looking for upfront you will find it easier to search profiles.
Be Open
Remember that just because you think you know who you want in a date doesn’t mean you actually do. That means you should give people a chance, especially if they contact you. Read their profiles, reply to their email, and just see where things go.
At first when you join an online dating site you all you can really do is browse the other profiles and find profiles you are interested in. However, you don’t want to contact every individual whose profile you initially like. Instead, you will want to make a list of the ones you like and when you finish browsing all the profiles you may want to compare the profiles and contact the one you like most. If you contact everyone at one time and they all respond then you have a bit of a problem. It is too hard to communicate with five or six individuals at once and follow all of the conversations and really get to know one another. So, start with one or two and go from there. If they don’t work out, then move on to the next.
Getting Started
The best way to get started is to send a wink or a private message. Most online dating sites have a feature where you can “wink”, “smile”, or something like that to show the individual you are interested. This puts the ball in their court and they can “wink” back or reply in an instant message or email. It is best to follow this method of contacting individuals because you don’t want to appear overbearing or overanxious.
If you do decide to send an email introducing yourself be sure to make it short and sweet. Nobody wants to read a long email about you and your interests before they actually become interested in you. That means your email should be personalized, like “Hey BlueEyezintheCity”, and just include the basics like your first name and that you liked their profile. Then, ask them to check your profile and if interested get back to you. Be light, funny, and understanding that people will want to read your profile before responding.
These are just a few ways you can make first contact and have it be as successful as possible!
One of the hardest parts of dating online is you are never sure when to take it from online to offline. This is a difficult line to cross because once you do you either have the beginnings of a relationship or you find out you really are not compatible and you begin searching for someone new. The biggest question people have is generally when they should begin seeing each other in person. The general progression should be as follows:
Emails With online dating the way you get to know one another is through profiles and emails. You will email back and forth for a while and may even chat through instant messenger. Once you feel comfortable feel free to suggest talking by phone. Since many instant messaging services have free calls you may consider using this feature and keeping your telephone number private until you are ready to share it.
Telephone Calls Once you feel comfortable giving out your phone number, do. It doesn’t matter who makes the suggestion first and if you feel comfortable go for it. You may even make a comment like, “may I call you sometime,” to test the waters and see if you are both on the same page.
Meeting in Public When you are ready to meet in person, but without the pressures of being on a one on one date you should schedule a public meeting. This could be at the mall, park, or other public place, where you can see one another and simply chat. Once you feel comfortable with one another you may want to go on a real date. This may be the same day or later.
Real Date A real date shows you both are attracted to one another and are interested in exploring your relationship. You have built up slowly by chatting, talking, and even meeting, so you have a good solid base. Now it is time to take it a little further. Good luck and remember that if you ever feel uncomfortable you can always leave.
