If you have been dating your significant other for an extended time, you’ve probably fielded many inquiries about potential wedding bells. The thing you should always remember is that you’re the one in the relationship- not your great aunt, not the nosy neighbor down the street, not your married sister, not the Sunday school teacher at your church, and let’s not forget your mother! While they may have good intentions, they’re bringing their own experiences in their own relationships which influence the advice they are doling out, or the not so subtle comments they are making.

Now, unless you’re the type of person who is completely content in a long term relationship with no desire to get married (if so, you’re definitely in the minority), you’ve probably wondered what the next step in your relationship is going to be. Many people put off discussing marriage because they are hesitant to know how their significant other really feels about the issue. Once you know where your partner sees you both in the years to come, your relationship is either ending, or moving forward. There usually isn’t anything in between. Change can be scary, even good change, but you must risk that fear and listen to your heart. Otherwise, you’ll secretly harbor resentment and even uncertainty towards your significant other, which can emerge in various issues among your relationship.

However, there are signs that it is time to cut the cord and end the relationship, but they aren’t based on the time you have been together. If you fall into this category, you probably already recognize the red flags but don’t want to deal with them. Is it second nature to have your basic needs met by each other? How is the attraction between you both- is there sexual attraction in addition to a genuine level of like and respect for each other? Are you or your partner flexible when it comes to change and understanding of each others’ positions or points of view? Do you both have mutual goals and plans for the future that include the other person? Do you look forward to spending time with your partner and still have fun together? Regardless if you’ve been dating five months or five years- if you answered no to any of these questions, you probably need to give your relationship a serious assessment.

So how long is too long to date? Every couple is different, and it’s impossible, not to mention unjust, to impose a universal time limit on relationships. But as long as your relationship is based on trust, honesty and commitment, and you are both genuinely content and happy, your relationship will most likely continue to grow.

It seems everywhere you look- television, magazines, even your friends- people are complaining that the romance has gone out of their relationship. You’ve heard the phrase a million times, but you never thought it would happen to you! But let’s face it- when you’ve been together a long time, the passion and excitement that you experienced when you first met isn’t as easily accessed these days. The truth is, every couple is going to go through this from time to time, and you shouldn’t feel like it’s a sign of a decaying relationship. So what should you do about it?

Add some creativity to your normal routines. Instead of relying on the standby activities you do every weekend, put a different twist on it by trying something new. If you’re the athletic types, research something that will fuel your competitive juices (try rock climbing)- there’s nothing like a little contest to turn on the heat! If you’re movie buffs, research nearby film festivals for indie flicks and documentaries that don’t always get the big billing that is given to feature films. Or enroll in an instructional class, like ballroom dancing, and learn something new together!

Try slipping into your partner’s shoes. Most of us dread the daily obligatory activities- you know the ones, cooking, cleaning, taking out the garbage, or walking the dog. Offer to cook a meal for your partner one night, or take the vacuum cleaner for a spin around the apartment. The old cliché still holds true- it’s the little things that count.

Go back to the basics. When you’ve been with one person for a long period of time, it’s easy to take them for granted. Although this is common in any relationship, don’t let it be a deal breaker for yours. Remember to make your partner feel wanted and appreciated- a little note tucked into his briefcase, a bouquet of flowers delivered to her work, even a simple email to ask how the day is going. These things are usually the first to go once you feel secure and stable in a relationship- but they’re exactly the things that your partner needs to be reminded that you care.

Last but certainly not least, don’t forget to listen. It’s easy to let distractions from work, family, friends, church and sports take over your preoccupations. Remember that your partner has just as much on their mind- ask them to share it with you. Don’t sell yourself short in your ability to help ease their minds- sometimes all it takes is a willing ear.

You’ve been trying to get up the courage to approach your good looking new neighbor for weeks now, but every time you run into him at the mailroom, you go weak in the knees and lose the ability to carry on an intelligible conversation. While you’re not the first person this has happened to, you don’t want to let your shyness stand in the way of what could be an amazing relationship. If you can’t seem to gather up the courage on your own, try these tips and see if it gets you any further.

Approach the person who has caught your interest and in a friendly and engaging manner, introduce yourself. It’s always good to reference something you already have in common, such as the place where you have seen him or her before. (“Hi, I’m Alex, I live in your building- I’ve seen you around the lobby a few times.”) But be careful on giving too many details- you don’t want to sound like a stalker!

Use the opportunity to strike up a conversation- don’t stress about saying the perfect thing. Just be yourself, you may only have this one chance to show the person to the awesomeness that is you- take advantage of it! Keep your chat to a brief one- you don’t want to hold him or her up, and besides, you may have caught them at a bad time. However, this is the perfect excuse for you to ask for their contact information. Explain that you’d love to continue the conversation but you have to get going, and then casually ask for his or her phone number to follow up. Once you have gotten your desired phone number, say goodbye and continue on your way. The next part can be equally as hard, especially if you’re still dealing with that shyness we discussed earlier, and that’s actually calling him or her. Just remind yourself that you would not have been successful in getting their number if they thought you were a complete and total lunatic. Take your in and run with it!

Now remember, this method isn’t a guaranteed success, and there’s a good chance you might be rejected. If this happens, resist the urge to run away as quickly as possible. Keep your tone friendly and offer up your number instead (if you have a business card handy, you can always give him or her one of these), saying that you’d love the chance to talk again sometime. This doesn’t automatically make your venture a failure- many women feel uncomfortable giving a stranger their personal information. There’s a good chance your phone may ring in a few days!

So remember, next time you run into your neighbor in the hall of your condo building, don’t be shy- ask for their number!

If you’re nervous about the first date, relax- it’s only natural, and shows your enthusiasm for getting to spend time with him or her. Truth being told, your date is probably just as nervous as you are.

Picking the venue for your first date is one of the most important decisions you can make. Take a little time to think through your options and remember the main goal of your date- to get to know him or her better. Daytime activities are great low pressure alternatives to evening plans and all the insinuations that come along with it. Places like art galleries, museums, and zoos can give you plenty to look at and talk about. Planning a fun filled activity like going to an amusement park, racing go-karts, or taking a swing at a mini golf course will ensure neither of you are bored. If the weather permits, consider packing up a picnic, grabbing a blanket, and heading to a nearby park for a lazy afternoon of conversation- and don’t forget to pack a chilled bottle of wine! (But remember, if you do decide to consume alcohol during the date, try to keep the drinks at a minimum- it’s never a good impression to get wasted on a first date.)

Don’t get overwhelmed about filling the conversation with witty banter, impressive knowledge of world events or funny stories. While everyone likes a joke once in awhile, use the time to get to know the other person better. Since you don’t know much about your date, the topics to explore are endless! However, stay away from discussing heavy topics like politics, religion or old relationships- there will be time for that later as you get to know each other and feel more comfortable with one another.

Pay attention to your date- don’t allow yourself to zone out and think about the Cubs game last night or the presentation you have on Monday. Try to keep the conversation balanced, taking equal turns to talk and listen- no one likes a one man show. Remember your manners (thanks Mom!)- compliment your date on his or her appearance, open car and restaurant doors, and most importantly, thank the other person for the date. Not only will this emphasize your interest in your date, but it will also help him or her feel comfortable.

Wrapping up a first date can potentially be a little awkward, so having a clear ending time can help eliminate any of that lingering inability to say goodbye. If you enjoyed your time together, make sure your date knows your feelings, and even suggest an upcoming day for a second date. If you unfortunately didn’t feel a connection, politely say goodbye, and follow up with an email or phone call to explain that you do not see a future for you two.

As long as you’re armed with a positive attitude and self confidence, you’re set for a great first date!

A big unanswered question among women is how to attract hot men. You enter a bar, club, restaurant or even coffee shop and you see girls with really cute, hot guys and you wonder “how did they make that happen?” These occurrences make you think that perhaps there is a little strategy to attracting hot men and those women must have some tips up their sleeves.

Be Confident and Cool
Believe it or not, the old adage that guys are intimidated by confident girls is a hoax. It’s the confident girls that aren’t afraid to go for that hot guy that actually get the guys. Not much is going to happen if you sit in a corner and chat with your girlfriends. You must make yourself known in the situation without being vain or arrogant. It’s the cool confidence and sparkling personality that attracts the hot men. Most hot men are confident as well, and they aren’t looking for someone who can’t hold their ground.

Make Smart Wardrobe Choices
Another misconception about attracting hot guys is that the skimpiest outfit will get you the most attention. It is true that it might get you the most attention, but perhaps not the kind you wanted. Be smart in your wardrobe choices. Hot guys are looking for that effortless, sexy style that is not overly inappropriate. A hot guy is not going to be seen with a girl that is embarrassing herself with her outfit. If you think you are showing too much, you probably are. The best outfit choices are the ones you feel hot in but also make you feel comfortable and would inhibit you from having a good time.

Be Yourself
There is nothing worse than giving off a first impression that is no reflection of who you really are as a person. Being yourself and staying true to who you are is attractive. Acting overly fake or in a manner that is outside of your personality will only damage your chances of meeting someone you really get along with.

Act Brave
Now that you’ve assembled the perfect outfit and are feeling confident, it’s time to be brave. You can’t always rely on that hot guy to approach you. If you really want to meet him, make it happen. Move your group of girls closer to him. Meet him at the bar when you see him heading towards it. Observe for awhile, and then make your move – you will be glad you did.