The “guy friend who is maybe more than just a friend” situation is one of the ultimate dilemmas in a single girl’s dating life. A lot of really great relationships start from being friends, but crossing that line can also end a valued friendship. Especially in this day and age, a lot of women and men go out in groups of friends and not necessarily one-on-one. This causes an interesting dynamic of singles and couples and sometimes can lead a girl to wonder, “Is that guy friend boyfriend material?” If you are trying to turn that “guy friend” into your boyfriend, there are a few things you can try to make it happen.
Weigh the Pros and Cons Before turning the guy friend into a boyfriend, you must decide whether it is worth it to you to lose the friendship if the romance goes south or doesn’t work out. Will it cause an uncomfortable rift in your friendships? Will it be awkward when you are out together? Do you think you will have chemistry? If you decide that you’d like to test the waters, the next step is to try to get him one-on-one.
The Non-Date Date Since you are friends, it shouldn’t be too hard to find a time to hang out with him. Ask him for coffee or if he wants to meet for lunch during the work week. Invite him to a happy hour you’ve planned. Have a party and make sure he comes and while he’s there, spend a little more time with him. You have to begin to show him that you could be girlfriend material and not just a good friend. Find ways to sit next to him while out and just try to be near him. These efforts will start giving him hints that you like him more than just a friend. Further, communicate with him a bit more by maybe sending an email here and there or an invite to a group social event.
Go for It Often, women get lucky enough that their guy friend gets the hint and a mutual admiration builds organically into more than friends. Though, if you are dealing with more of a shy guy or aren’t quite sure yet, you may want to take the brave step and ask him out on a date. Or plan a quiet meeting to let him know how you feel. In most cases, people who started as friends make great partners and you will be glad you were open and willing to give it a try.
There are a number of ways to successfully approach a woman and your strategy depends on the environment you are in and your personality. The tried and true “Can I buy you a drink?” approach has a remarkable success considering its simplicity, but it really only works in a bar environment. There are other ways to approach a woman that can be used in a variety of situations. Most importantly, confidence plays a big part in the success of your approach.
Relax First, be relaxed when approaching a woman. Your nervousness will show through and possibly make the woman uncomfortable. You want to appear confident, calm and assured of yourself. Confidence is a trait that appeals to women. Be confident enough to take rejection and move on, as well.
Take Mental Notes Once you’ve decided to approach a woman, the big question becomes “What do I talk to her about?” Before approaching the woman, take some mental notes about what she is doing. Maybe you are on the bus or waiting in a coffee shop. Try to see what they are reading, overhear their coffee order and pay attention to the small talk they are making. With these mental notes, you will have topics to discuss or ask about. You can start a simple conversation with a comment as easy as “What are you listening to?” “Do you like that new coffee?” “How’s that book you are reading? Have you read any of the author’s other books?”
Determine the Style of Your Approach There are lots of different ways you can approach a woman, but your delivery may make all the difference and it depends on your personality. You can go the sensitive, charming route. When you approach the girl, be sweet, using your low key charm to interest the woman. Using this approach at the end of the conversation, you can end with a sweet kiss on the cheek and a simple “I’d like to see you again.”
Some men may opt for the more direct route when approaching a woman and straight out ask them to go out or for their phone number right off the bat. This works for some men and can be successful with the right woman. But this will depend on the personality of the woman – that is why it’s important to take mental notes on the woman you’d like to approach. If she seems more reserved, go with the delicate, sweet charm. If she is outgoing and vivacious, you might have luck with the more direct route. And lastly, there is always the fun, yet causal approach. In this approach, the man takes it less seriously and sees what happens while just having fun and enjoying the woman’s company.
You love spending time with your boyfriend, but lately it seems like your activities are the same old thing every weekend- dinner and a movie. If you’re looking to put more romance into your relationship, put a little effort into planning activities that will bring the two of you closer together. One way to get out of your dating rut is by planning a romantic picnic for just the two of you.
First find the perfect location for your picnic, such as an overlook, local park, riverbank, or country field. You’ll want an area that is quiet and remote, where you can have a little privacy from families playing and loud children. You also want a place that is comfortable- look for a large tree that offers shade from the sun, or a flat area along the river where you can spread out.
Make an inventory of everything you will need for the perfect afternoon- there are many things that can be overlooked when planning for a picnic, as you have the natural tendency to focus on the food. You’ll need a large blanket (a flat bed sheet will also do the trick)- bring an extra in case the ground is wet and you need to double up. Remember the utensils- depending on what food you will be eating, you may want to bring “real” silverware instead of the disposable plastic ones. Also include a roll of paper towels, plates and napkins. Throw in a couple trash bags (or grocery store plastic bags)- one to use for your garbage, and one to hold the empty food containers, dirty utensils, etc.
When it comes to food, the options are endless. Try to keep in mind that you will most likely be eating on paper plates held in your lap, so don’t choose food items that are overly messy or difficult to eat. Sandwiches are always a great staple picnic food- make your own at home, or go to a local deli. Specialty markets like Whole Foods, Wegman’s and Trader Joe’s usually have a variety of small pre-made foods that are very picnic-friendly. Pick up some guacamole and chips, hummus and pita bread, or cold tortellini to share. Cut up fruit and/or veggies for a fresh snack to munch on before or after your main meal. As for dessert, include something that keeps easily, such as cookies. (Extra points if you make them yourself!)
After your picnic, don’t just pack up and leave. Take advantage of your time together to learn more about one another!
If you have been dating your significant other for an extended time, you’ve probably fielded many inquiries about potential wedding bells. The thing you should always remember is that you’re the one in the relationship- not your great aunt, not the nosy neighbor down the street, not your married sister, not the Sunday school teacher at your church, and let’s not forget your mother! While they may have good intentions, they’re bringing their own experiences in their own relationships which influence the advice they are doling out, or the not so subtle comments they are making.
Now, unless you’re the type of person who is completely content in a long term relationship with no desire to get married (if so, you’re definitely in the minority), you’ve probably wondered what the next step in your relationship is going to be. Many people put off discussing marriage because they are hesitant to know how their significant other really feels about the issue. Once you know where your partner sees you both in the years to come, your relationship is either ending, or moving forward. There usually isn’t anything in between. Change can be scary, even good change, but you must risk that fear and listen to your heart. Otherwise, you’ll secretly harbor resentment and even uncertainty towards your significant other, which can emerge in various issues among your relationship.
However, there are signs that it is time to cut the cord and end the relationship, but they aren’t based on the time you have been together. If you fall into this category, you probably already recognize the red flags but don’t want to deal with them. Is it second nature to have your basic needs met by each other? How is the attraction between you both- is there sexual attraction in addition to a genuine level of like and respect for each other? Are you or your partner flexible when it comes to change and understanding of each others’ positions or points of view? Do you both have mutual goals and plans for the future that include the other person? Do you look forward to spending time with your partner and still have fun together? Regardless if you’ve been dating five months or five years- if you answered no to any of these questions, you probably need to give your relationship a serious assessment.
So how long is too long to date? Every couple is different, and it’s impossible, not to mention unjust, to impose a universal time limit on relationships. But as long as your relationship is based on trust, honesty and commitment, and you are both genuinely content and happy, your relationship will most likely continue to grow.
It seems everywhere you look- television, magazines, even your friends- people are complaining that the romance has gone out of their relationship. You’ve heard the phrase a million times, but you never thought it would happen to you! But let’s face it- when you’ve been together a long time, the passion and excitement that you experienced when you first met isn’t as easily accessed these days. The truth is, every couple is going to go through this from time to time, and you shouldn’t feel like it’s a sign of a decaying relationship. So what should you do about it?
Add some creativity to your normal routines. Instead of relying on the standby activities you do every weekend, put a different twist on it by trying something new. If you’re the athletic types, research something that will fuel your competitive juices (try rock climbing)- there’s nothing like a little contest to turn on the heat! If you’re movie buffs, research nearby film festivals for indie flicks and documentaries that don’t always get the big billing that is given to feature films. Or enroll in an instructional class, like ballroom dancing, and learn something new together!
Try slipping into your partner’s shoes. Most of us dread the daily obligatory activities- you know the ones, cooking, cleaning, taking out the garbage, or walking the dog. Offer to cook a meal for your partner one night, or take the vacuum cleaner for a spin around the apartment. The old cliché still holds true- it’s the little things that count.
Go back to the basics. When you’ve been with one person for a long period of time, it’s easy to take them for granted. Although this is common in any relationship, don’t let it be a deal breaker for yours. Remember to make your partner feel wanted and appreciated- a little note tucked into his briefcase, a bouquet of flowers delivered to her work, even a simple email to ask how the day is going. These things are usually the first to go once you feel secure and stable in a relationship- but they’re exactly the things that your partner needs to be reminded that you care.
Last but certainly not least, don’t forget to listen. It’s easy to let distractions from work, family, friends, church and sports take over your preoccupations. Remember that your partner has just as much on their mind- ask them to share it with you. Don’t sell yourself short in your ability to help ease their minds- sometimes all it takes is a willing ear.
