You may be new to online dating and unsure of how to go about the process. Like with anything, when you first get started it can be a bit difficult to know what to look for or how to actually date online. There are several things you need to look for and you will start with the profiles.

Search Profiles

You want to narrow down the thousands of profiles to the types of people you are looking for. Search for men or women, religious beliefs, location, education, and more. You may not want to narrow your search too much at first because you could be eliminating people that shouldn’t necessarily be eliminated. However, if you are sure you are looking for a man in Chicago who is a Christian then you can easily include those search parameters and see who is returned!

Read Profiles

Once you have searched the profiles and have the results then you are ready to read the profiles. You will need to look at the photos, read people’s backgrounds, and determine who you are most interested in.

Check Your Checklist

You should have a checklist of what you are looking for to help you sort the profiles. Of course, the search function on the site will do a really good job, but there may be other things you are looking for, too. Look for people of a particular race, religion, hair color, height, and so on and so forth. Additionally, you may want to look for people with a particular type of job or who like to travel. If you know who you are looking for upfront you will find it easier to search profiles.

Be Open

Remember that just because you think you know who you want in a date doesn’t mean you actually do. That means you should give people a chance, especially if they contact you. Read their profiles, reply to their email, and just see where things go.

At first when you join an online dating site you all you can really do is browse the other profiles and find profiles you are interested in. However, you don’t want to contact every individual whose profile you initially like. Instead, you will want to make a list of the ones you like and when you finish browsing all the profiles you may want to compare the profiles and contact the one you like most. If you contact everyone at one time and they all respond then you have a bit of a problem. It is too hard to communicate with five or six individuals at once and follow all of the conversations and really get to know one another. So, start with one or two and go from there. If they don’t work out, then move on to the next.

Getting Started

The best way to get started is to send a wink or a private message. Most online dating sites have a feature where you can “wink”, “smile”, or something like that to show the individual you are interested. This puts the ball in their court and they can “wink” back or reply in an instant message or email. It is best to follow this method of contacting individuals because you don’t want to appear overbearing or overanxious.

If you do decide to send an email introducing yourself be sure to make it short and sweet. Nobody wants to read a long email about you and your interests before they actually become interested in you. That means your email should be personalized, like “Hey BlueEyezintheCity”, and just include the basics like your first name and that you liked their profile. Then, ask them to check your profile and if interested get back to you. Be light, funny, and understanding that people will want to read your profile before responding.

These are just a few ways you can make first contact and have it be as successful as possible!

One of the hardest parts of dating online is you are never sure when to take it from online to offline. This is a difficult line to cross because once you do you either have the beginnings of a relationship or you find out you really are not compatible and you begin searching for someone new. The biggest question people have is generally when they should begin seeing each other in person. The general progression should be as follows:

Emails
With online dating the way you get to know one another is through profiles and emails. You will email back and forth for a while and may even chat through instant messenger. Once you feel comfortable feel free to suggest talking by phone. Since many instant messaging services have free calls you may consider using this feature and keeping your telephone number private until you are ready to share it.

Telephone Calls
Once you feel comfortable giving out your phone number, do. It doesn’t matter who makes the suggestion first and if you feel comfortable go for it. You may even make a comment like, “may I call you sometime,” to test the waters and see if you are both on the same page.

Meeting in Public
When you are ready to meet in person, but without the pressures of being on a one on one date you should schedule a public meeting. This could be at the mall, park, or other public place, where you can see one another and simply chat. Once you feel comfortable with one another you may want to go on a real date. This may be the same day or later.

Real Date
A real date shows you both are attracted to one another and are interested in exploring your relationship. You have built up slowly by chatting, talking, and even meeting, so you have a good solid base. Now it is time to take it a little further. Good luck and remember that if you ever feel uncomfortable you can always leave.

Sometimes guys ask girls out when they meet them in the grocery store, at a concert, or even in a bar. It’s hard to know if this is the guy you really want to be dating although you can probably tell pretty fast if you are attracted to him. If you do think he is hot and would like to get to know him better, find a way to get the answers to the following questions before saying “yes” to a date. You will learn from the answers to some basic information to help you make a decision!

Is he single?

The first question is important because you don’t want to go out with a guy who is dating someone else. That is not the type of relationship you want to get involved in and it only show the type of guy he is. So, this one is a biggie. Sure, he could lie, but when you ask you will be able to tell by his body language if he is telling the truth.

What’s he into?

You may want to ask him what his hobbies are or what he likes to do. This will give you some insight into the type of guy he is. Don’t feel shy asking him about his hobbies and the things he likes to do because these are important answers for you. If he is into some strange things like devil worshipping or tattooing his whole body, you may want to stay clear. That is, unless you are into those things as well.

What does he do?

A guy’s job says a lot about who he is. Ask about his work or studies. You will learn what he wants to be in life and who he wants to become. It’s completely normal for you to ask what he does so he won’t feel like you are giving him the third degree.

Remember, don’t pepper him with questions, but let them fall into normal conversation. If he asks you out after you have found all of this information out then you will be able to make a good decision whether you are truly into this guy or not. Of course, if you are really attracted to him go ahead and say “yes” because you never know, sometimes opposites really do attract.

You have probably felt at times that you have a sign on your forehead that says, “I love losers, fat guys, psychopaths, etc.” If so, you probably are sending the wrong signals with your body. Your body can tell any guy that you want him to talk to you or you want him to leave you alone. Learn the art of body language and you will control who talks to you!

Eye Contact

The best way to show you are interested in someone is to make eye contact. Glance in his direction until you catch his eye. Then, follow this up with longer glances so he knows you are flirting and not inadvertently looking in his direction. When he looks at you look away quickly, while smiling. He will feel caught up in your little game and attracted to you. After a few moments brave a stronger gaze and smile at him. This shows you are truly interested.

If a man is playing this game with you and you are not interested then you must ignore the attempt to make eye contact. Don’t look at him or give him any reason to think you are interested.

Use Your Hands

You may be shy about saying certain things, but you can use your hands to make a point. Touch his hand when you are reaching for your glass “by accident” or pick a piece of lint from his shirt. You may also leave your hands open showing interest. Try rhythmically caressing the collar of your shirt or the rim of your glass. This is a big turn on and shows your interest. Make sure you don’t appear fidgety.

Watch Your Signals

If you like a guy then you want to send the right signals. This means to avoid smoking cigarette after cigarette, even if he is a smoker, too. Don’t have too many drinks or chew with your mouth open. Try to limit your trips to the bathroom and don’t send any signals that you aren’t willing to follow up on.
Keep these suggestions in mind and you will fare better on all of your dates in the future!