The only reason that most pick-up lines are memorable are usually because they are plain pathetic. How many people do you know that have secured a date with lines like “Do you have a map? Because I just got lost in your eyes,” or “Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?”? Still thinking? Thought so. The problem with these lines, and the zillion others that are used each day across the country, is that women and men know they are a complete joke. Sure, asking “If I told you that you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?” may sound hilarious while throwing back a few beers with your buddies, that same approach is going to make you fall flat on your face out in the real world. The best pick-up line you could use on a member of the opposite sex is to forgo the pick-up line entirely, and rely on originality and spontaneity instead.
Even if you’ve never seen him before in your life, pretend that you do! All you have to do is pick a name (any name), tap him on his sleeve and ask genuinely, “Excuse me, you’re not Brian Johnson by any chance are you?” Obviously the answer is going to be no, but it’s up to you on how you play his reaction. You can go the route of looking utterly embarrassed (and completely vulnerable- play on his heartstrings!) or being completely incredulous at the similarity of him and your <albeit imaginary> long lost friend. You’ll be able to read just how interested he is within a few seconds- if he looks totally annoyed just excuse yourself politely and walk away (towards your next victim!)
Try a tried and true approach- compliment her! One of the reasons many women groan at the use of pickup lines is that they are completely unoriginal. Instead, notice something that you genuinely like about her appearance, such as her shoes, hair clip, purse, etc. (Stay away from smiles and eyes- those fall into the unoriginal category.) Compliment her on the item, and follow up with something specific, such as where she found such a beautiful color, or how your sister would love her purse. Share an outrageous or hilarious story. All of us have had at least one thing completely bizarre or utterly crazy happen to us- pull out once such incident and turn it into a one-liner. The point of this approach is that he or she will most likely be intrigued and want to know the rest of the story, which means you have scored an opportunity to have an extended conversation with the object of your affection.
This may seem like something out of a cheesy Lifetime movie, but offer to buy him a drink. It’s a basic approach and one that has worked for many a person. You can always have the bartender or waitress send over whatever he’s been drinking, but you’ll score major points if you have the guts to walk up to him yourself with the offer. The key is not to hit on him blatantly and to remember your manners- and of course to flash that killer smile.
All guys love girls with a sense of humor. Men are very attracted to girls that can laugh at themselves and take a joke as well as tell one. The key is finding a balance between humor and sarcasm that is just the right level of funny to get a guy.
Don’t Take Yourself Too Seriously Women that take themselves too seriously can often be hard to read and unpleasant to be around. Of course, there is a time and place for being serious, but there is a lot of fun to be had in life when things are taken with a grain of salt. Men are very attracted to women can that laugh out loud at themselves and not be afraid of making a mistake or being vulnerable. Next time you are out with friends, don’t be afraid to have a good time no matter how you look to others. The sheer confidence of not caring what others think is attractive to men. If you happen to trip on the way to the bathroom, get up and laugh it off and chuckle with your best friend who just saw the whole thing happen. It’s our carefree attitude and sense of humor that will be of interest to men. Don’t be uptight or worried about what people think – have a sense of humor and laugh and be who you are.
Be Careful with Sarcasm Everyone knows that sarcasm can be really funny, especially when delivered in the right way to the right audience. Sometimes girls can take sarcasm too far and it can be a turn-off to guys. If you are trying to be funny and sarcastic about everything, and perhaps inappropriate things, it might not work to your advantage when trying to get a guy. Trying to be overly sarcastic as if you were one of the guys is a tactic to steer clear of when trying to get a guy. It is a myth that guys are looking for a girlfriend that is “one of the guys.” Sure, they want a girl that can hang with the guys, but in a cool way with her own sense of humor and charm.
Just remember that everyone is funny in their own way, especially when you don’t take yourself or life too seriously all the time. Try to always add a little humor and vulnerability and you’ll be surprised at the reaction from the guys.
When you are out, sometimes it’s tough to let guys know you are available. Sure, you’ve got a cute outfit on and you are having a good time, but who knows, the guys may think you are looking special for your boyfriend if they didn’t know any different about you. Women can try a few of these ideas when trying to let guys know they are available.
Wear No Hand Jewelry Wearing no hand jewelry sounds really simple, and it is. Men, just like women, look for the wedding bands and engagement rings to understand if someone is single or taken. Some ring styles are hard to decipher from some of the fashion jewelry women wear all the time. Make it easy on the guys and wear no hand jewelry – why make them wonder? Next time you are out, skip the rings and wear a bracelet.
Talk with Other Guys A good way to show guys you are available is to hang out with other guys. You’d think that you should do the opposite by just talking with your girlfriends, but in reality by talking with the guys, you are showing others that you are open to conversation and meeting new people. Also, if you talk to more than one guy or groups of guys, it demonstrates that you are single and not held down to any one guy. Next time you are out, make the effort to talk to more than just one guy – if you hang out with just one guy all night, other guys who may be interested might think that you are into that one guy, or that he is your boyfriend. It’s all about diversifying your range and seeing what happens.
Try to Avoid Being the Third, Fifth or Seventh Wheel If you truly want guys to know you are available, it might be a good idea to avoid going out with your other friends who are couples all the time. Of course, you enjoy their company and want to hang out with them, but often if people are out in groups that appear to be couples, outsiders will think you are taken, too. It’s worth a try to head out on the town with just your girlfriends every once in awhile and see if it makes a difference. Going out with your single pals may even give you the extra boost of confidence to let guys know you are single by simply approaching them!
Be Flirtatious and Make Eye Contact When trying to let a guy know you are available, be sure to use eye contact and flirting to your advantage. If you are spotting a guy from across the bar, try to make eye contact and hold it – smile, and try not to look away as quickly as you would’ve usually. Once you start talking with him, maintain good eye contact during the conversation and act interested. Try to ask questions and be inquisitive about what he is saying. Also, turn up the flirting a bit by stealing a casual touch here or there or complimenting him. Using these tactics, he is sure to know that you are available.
Figuring out how to address your boyfriend’s jealously and possessive personality can be a delicate situation. What you must understand in these situations is that the jealously and possessive behavior is usually a sign of the man’s insecurity and personal issues and not you. However, it does add a level of strain to relationships and needs to be discussed. The bottom line is to not let him manipulate you to the extent that it is changing your relationships, friendships and normal routine.
Don’t Let Him Manipulate You If your boyfriend is possessive or jealous, you can’t let his manipulative actions affect you. By being possessive of you, he wants you all to himself and usually in these cases, the boyfriend limits the girl’s ability to hang out with her friends and do things with others. He has to understand that only having a relationship with each other is not healthy. You should suggest he hang out with his friends, too, and that it will be good for your relationship.
Another tip to ease his jealous and possessive behavior is to assure him that he has nothing to worry about regarding your loyalty to the relationships. You must make sure he knows that you won’t waiver. Part of the insecurity comes from the fear that you will leave him for another man. To calm this fear, express your feelings for him on a consistent basis. It will make him more secure and hopefully make things better in your relationship.
You Need Friends, Too In situations with a jealous or possessive boyfriend, the woman’s ability to hang out with girl or guy friends can be is limited, or restricted. In your mind, you think your boyfriend is being ridiculous and your instinct is probably to not even justify his thoughts. Though, you will need to communicate to him that you are not interested in other guys and to trust you. He also needs to understand that hanging around each other all the time is not healthy for your relationship. If he hangs out with his friends and doesn’t let you spend time with yours, then you probably shouldn’t put up with it.
Sometimes an overly jealous or possessive boyfriend can lead a girl to her tipping point and cause a break-up. However, it is not fair for the girl to be manipulated by a possessive boyfriend. It will not improve the health of your relationship and only cause drama. The main point to remember is that your boyfriend must be clear about your loyalty to him and that other people will not affect your relationship. If you can calm some of his insecurities, you may be able to keep your jealous or possessive boyfriend in a more neutral frame of mind.
In some relationships, you can have the benefit of not dealing with the ex-factor and the exes are either cool friends or they made a clean break and the girls are nowhere to be seen. But sometimes, there is a more delicate situation and it can be troublesome in a new relationship. There are a couple of common ways this can play out in a new relationship.
The Ex is “Just a Friend” Your boyfriend tells you that the ex is just a friend, yet they hang out casually and you often see her when you are out. As the new girlfriend, you aren’t quite sure what to do, and whether you should be concerned about this past relationship. The first thing to do is observe your boyfriend while she is around. Does he seem happy when she’s around? Does he smile a lot or try to touch her? Do they keep in touch more than they should? If you are answering yes to some of these questions, you need to talk to your boyfriend. It’s not that you are opposed to your boyfriend’s friendship with his ex, but you want to know where he stands in the situation. You need to make sure that he no longer has feelings for his ex, it only complicates things and makes the effort you put into the relationship seem irrelevant.
Never Create Drama When dealing with the ex-girlfriend, never be the source or creator of any drama between you and the girlfriend or among the three of you. It only creates trouble and makes you look like the petty one with the insecurity issues. In situations where you see the ex-girlfriend out on the town, always be cordial. Remember, your boyfriend is with you and not with her and there is no reason to create any drama. It is always better to be the bigger person and above any unneeded drama.
Talk it Out The common saying “honesty is the best policy” applies to this situation. Honesty and trust are critical in any relationship. If the ex-factor is a trouble spot in your relationship, it is best to talk it out. It is important to make sure there are no lingering feelings for a past relationship. Your ability to talk openly about past relationships, if needed, will make you more open and ensure there is nothing you can’t talk about. It is not your place to limit who he can be friends with, but if it is affecting your relationship, the situation needs to be addressed with a constructive talk.
